Hello lovelies, this is Part 2 of how to overcome depression and today is all about becoming the observer.
Tip one: Write down your thoughts in a journal throughout the day!
First, get a journal! Second, put reminders on your phone at different times of the day and then write down your thoughts accordingly. Even if a thought randomly comes write it down. It is important to see what types of thoughts you're having because a lot of the time we can have thoughts but we're not always aware of those thoughts and how they can affect us. After you have written your thoughts down throughout the day, you will simply be amazed at what you were thinking about and begin to have a different perspective on things.
After this exercise, ask yourself the following and rate from 1 to 10
1. Are the thoughts you are having really about you and who you are?
2. Are the statements you have said true about how you are, how you feel or how and what you're doing?
It can be beneficial to become aware of and observe this!
It is essential after going over your thoughts, especially the ones that don’t make you feel good, to then write beside those thoughts, some helpful, compassionate and kind thoughts. For example, if you said “Oh I had a rubbish day today” then write beside that thought “Tomorrow is going to be better” and “I'm going to feel better” just try and start writing down helpful thoughts.
Writing about an event that was challenging for you, especially if the event had an impact on you, or affected your mental health can also be effective. Ask yourself:
1. What were your thoughts or behaviors, and could they have contributed to the situations?
2. What problems were you facing?
3. What belief systems could you have triggered or developed?
Working and writing about these events that have affected you can help you start becoming the observer, identifying what areas that are affecting your mental health and even seeing these events from a different perspective.
Tip 2 Mindfulness and Meditation
I'm sure you've heard it a lot about meditation everywhere but it is such a useful tip! For example:
1. Listening to meditation or hypnosis music - there is a lot already online that you can find. I personally really like guided hypnosis which you could also enjoy
2. Group meditations, you can go to group meditation online or in specific centres
3. You can listen to sound therapy like, binaural beats
4. Painting can be meditative
5. Writing can be meditative
6. Walking can be meditative
7. Ask yourself and figure out what helps you feel relaxed, rested, aligned and centered doing and then do that.
Meditation is not just about sitting and quieting your mind; it’s about finding out what works for you, so that you allow your mind to be in a more relaxed state. This, in turn, will lower your threat response or your fight flight response - that state where you’re thinking ‘I'm not protected, I'm not safe, I need to have my emotions on alert and detect”.
Mindfulness is also quite connected to meditation as well because it's about becoming present it's about becoming aware of your surroundings, becoming aware of what is going on within - what's going on within you and what's going on like outside of you. For example, answer the following questions:
1. How do your hands feel?
2. How do your nails feel?
3. How do your feet feel?
4. How does the rest of your body feel?
5. What is going on around you?
6. What is around you?
7. What am I smelling, touching, hearing, seeing, tasting?
Realize - that in this present moment everything is okay! When I started realizing and noticing my surroundings, I ask myself these questions, which really help me. Whenever I'm going through a situation, whenever I am stressed or too focused on the past or future, I make sure to keep bringing myself back into the present moment and say to myself “No it's over now, I'm in this present moment and I'm okay”. It just helps to take you out of all the chaos of what’s going on and brings you back into a centered, calm and relaxed state and not in the states or events that have happened that have caused you to feel emotional, or that have caused you pain.
I know this exercise can be hard when you're going through something that’s difficult or stressful, or you find yourself in situations that you don't want to really be present in. But if you leave that environment, maybe step outside or find a quiet space for a short period and just be present with yourself and realize in this moment that you're OK - it can really help.
Tip 3: Write a letter to yourself!
Now you can actually do this in many different ways:
1. You can write a letter to yourself as you are now, but that won't necessarily be as helpful’ however, it can give you a perspective of how you're doing
2. The most beneficial way is to write a letter to yourself from a compassionate perspective. Really tap into what compassion is and ask your body how it feels to feel compassionate. How does it feel to be kind? Really tap into that part of yourself because you have it within you - even if you don't feel like you have compassion for yourself, you actually do have it – you just have to really tap into that part of yourself. Then just ask yourself what I would want to say to myself as this compassionate person and write a letter to yourself, and then read it back to yourself.
3. You can also write a letter to your future self and keep it for the time you need it in order to lift you up in the moment - work on making the letter inspirational and loving. It can be a great coping strategy for the times you have setbacks and disappointments to have a letter on standby: it can help you feel a little better.
4. You can also write a letter to forgive yourself- if you've been hard on yourself, if you've been critical on yourself, if you have been unkind to yourself, if you've been harming yourself, if you've been abusive to yourself, if you've been bullying yourself, if you’ve been attacking yourself, if you’ve been blaming yourself. You can write a letter of forgiveness to yourself. You can say how you feel about yourself but remember to be compassionate in the letter
5. You can write a letter to someone else, I've done this a number of times when I've had suppressed anger in order to let it all out and really forgive myself as well as other people. I really just wrote out everything I had to say and I worked on seeing their perspective and what they were going through. I worked on finding them compassion, from which I know can be hard for you in that capacity, but take a step at a time – be easy on yourself; you can always try to work towards that level of compassion. At the end of the letter, be willing to think about saying: “I want to work on forgiving you”; “I have forgiven you”. After you have said everything, be willing to see what you have learnt from how you are treating yourself, or what you have learnt from the person who treated you poorly because this can help you take big strides on your healing journey.
Tip 4: Become an alien for day
Act as if you literally don't know anything, as if you are experiencing everything for the first time and really become the observer! For example, eat as if you are eating each type of food for first time. Really experience everything as if you're brand new and you’re living in a brand new world and act as if you don't know anything and experience life from a brand new perspective. It won’t only give you a new perspective, but it will also help provide you with gratitude.
Tip 5: Grounding and spending some time alone!
Grounding: some examples can include:
1. Going outside and putting your bare feet on some grass, earth or sand
2. Hugging a tree
3. Closing your eyes and imagining going down into the earth pulling the energy up into your body through your feet and right up to the top of your head
4. You can also imagine a tail at the end of your spine going down into the earth and attaching to it and feeling grounded in that way as well.
There's many different techniques that you can use, and you can also look online if you don't like the ones I've mentioned. These techniques are useful when you are feeling unbalanced, stressed or not centered they can be done at any time of the day to keep you centered.
Spending some time alone is important and useful to gather your thoughts as well as quieten your mind even if it’s just a couple of minutes a day. It's so important to really connect with yourself and try some of the exercises above.
Tip 6: Start appreciating!
I know it doesn't feel like you can appreciate anything right now, I understand but there's always something to be grateful for, so I want you to really, really try to look at what you are grateful for. At the end of the day, another day of life is very special, think about the flowing:
1. The fact that you're still here.
2. The fact that you were chosen out of millions upon millions of souls to be down here on this earth is something you can be grateful for.
3. Be grateful for food because not everyone has enough food.
4. Be grateful for shelter.
5. Be grateful for a place to sit.
6. Be grateful for the table next to you.
7. Be grateful for what you're watching me on right now.
8. Be grateful for other people, for the people in your life and the people you have meant a lot to you in the past.
9. Be grateful for your spiritual team.
Write or think about anything that you can because there are so many things to be grateful for and I know it's hard when you're in that state of mind that you are, but it's still important to do this. It will not only get you into a better vibration, but it will also help you attract more of what you want rather than what you don't want. Really try and start being grateful - being a bit more grateful can really help. I include it into my daily routine; you can do it too, first thing in the morning or the last thing at night or throughout the day. For example, throughout the day sometimes, I'm just like, “Oh you know, I'm so grateful like for this…” or I do it in the morning and say “Thank you God for another day”. So, what are you grateful for right now?
Tip 7 Imagine a safe place/ a safe haven
This really helped me when I was going through a wave of mental health issues, which was closing my eyes and imagining myself in a safe place and I literally created it and you can do the same, for example:
1. You can have it at the beach
2. You can be on a desert island ,
3. You can have it in a forest
4. It can be in a garden
5. You can have a waterfall
6. You can have someone there if you want or not – if you want a place of your own
7. Imagine if you want someone there
8. You can have a bed and a table by the sea.
9. You can have a house next to a waterfall
10. You can have a certain smell or certain foods
Whenever you're stressed, start thinking about things, ruminating and dwelling over things or get anxiety, just close your eyes and go back into that safe place. Create any way you want and make it your own and every single time you see how it smells, how it feels and how it looks and then really tap into all the senses. Be there for at least a couple of minutes and whenever you're not feeling great, send yourself back in and just relax. It is more about relaxing then observing but you can still observe your surroundings and senses.
That is it for this blog, next week I will have a third part of overcoming depression, which focuses on cleansing however, it will only be a video as I have already discussed some of the tips. I will be discussing a previous blog, which is about decluttering; you can check it out here. You can subscribe to my emailing list or my YouTube channel below to be the first to know when the video comes out. I talk a lot more than just decluttering and it is going to be such a useful video for you, so please stay tuned. Also, share this with anyone you think that might get some help out of it, please heart the blog if you have enjoyed it and write some comments down if you have any feelings towards what have said, or you feel like this helps you at all. Additionally, comment below any suggestions for any other blogs because I really want to help you guys. Again, you are not alone and I am sending so much love to you all. Have a great day!
Remember you are not alone in this!
Have a great day and I will talk to you soon!
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